One Man's Theatre is Another Man's ........

Last night I went to the Kwai Tsing Theatre in Kwai Fong to see a theatrical performance of La Fin des Terres (Lands End). The write up for the show described it as being the story of a meeting between two people and its imaginary resonance in the landscape of dreams. It went on to describe the show as conjuring up a series of enigmatic characters, sometimes real, sometimes projected which would reveal secret emotions and hidden histories. It further described the show as poetry, incarnated in animated forms and actors/magicians which captivate and explore with passion undiscovered theatrical continents.

What I witnessed was a bunch of actors in overcoats and bowler hats frollicking around with plastic bags on stage. I think I missed something......

Christmas 2007

Today is the 26th of December 2007. Christmas 2007 has now come and gone and I negotiated it reasonably successfully this year.

You see, for many years I have lived alone since my divorce in 1994. Sure, I have had a couple of medium-term relationships since that time but, for most of the time, Christmases have been a solitary affair for me.

Over the years my daughter Alana has usually gone to her mother's side of the family. My son Dylan usually goes to my side of the family. I can't go with my ex-wife's side of the family and, to be honest, I have never liked going to my side of the family so, the consequence of all that is that I usually get "hung out to dry" and spend Christmases alone.

Most of the time frame usually okay about spending Christmas alone and have arrangements were I spend time with friends. For example, for a couple of years I would join my friend Vivian's families lunch. They are a large Italian family and would meet at a restaurant or hotel. There would be 30 or 40 people and I would be made welcome. Fortunately for Vivian, but little unfortunately for me, a few years ago Vivian met a guy who became her partner. Her partner perceived me as some sort of romantic threat to Vivian (although nothing could have been further from the truth in reality) and so soon my invitations to Christmas started to drop off. I could understand how this guy might feel little threatened so I didn't feel too badly when the invitations started to cease. Soon after that, my really good friends Ward and Mandy started to invite me to Christmas lunch at their house and that was usually followed by a late afternoon tea at my housekeepers house. My housekeepers, Alexandria and Spiro are an elderly Greek couple and I love them like they are my parents and I love to visit them and spend time with them.

I am aware however of how people can become lonely and isolated at Christmas time. For 10 years between 1995 and 2005 I worked for a suicide and crisis counselling service in Melbourne Australia. I was a volunteer counsellor there and also a trainer. I loved doing the job even though most councillors " burnt out" after only a couple of years. I was well aware that many single people become lonely and isolated around the Christmas period and some of these people attempt and complete the act of suicide. Being aware of this, I have always run my own safety even though I can also get a bit edgy and feel alone and isolated around Christmas period.

This year I am delighted to report that Christmas has come and gone and I have had a nice time. Last weekend was pleasant and eventful and Christmas Eve, being Monday was also a busy day. At the end of the day I joined a couple of people for a Thai dinner at Knutsford Terrace in Tsim Sha Tsui, Hong Kong. It was a lovely evening and the restaurant gave out Christmas hat's, streamers, noise makers to get into the spirit of things. Christmas Day was a very relaxed affair, I just went out walking for part of the day and at the end of the day I joined the same two friends for dinner at an Australian restaurant in the deluxe shopping mall underneath the apartments that I live in. Woolloomooloo is our restaurant based on Australian cuisine, whatever that is. We had an absolutely lovely dinner in lovely company.

Today is Boxing Day and I slept in late. After heading out from my apartment I went over to a suburb called Jordan for lunch and then walked up through a suburb called Yau Ma Tei to another suburb called Mongkok to do some shopping. After that I went to Prince Edward, another suburb, and brought some pot plants and also some goldfish and a goldfish bowl. it's been a great day.

Tomorrow I plan to go up to Shenzhen in mainland China and stay there until Saturday. A nice conclusion to a great week.

Until next time " don't forget to wipe".....

Memories....

I have a friend called Hugh.

Hugh and I first met 26 years ago when Hugh had just arrived in Australia from Scotland and I was a manager in a large Australian company. At the time Hugh was one of the applicants for a number of jobs I have available and, being impressed with his skill set and his keen attitude, I gave him a job as a security alarm technician in that company. The company was a major Australian company and had an electronic Security Division as well as a Guards Division.

Hugh proved to be a friendly and humourous guy, a hard-working man and soon was being promoted through the ranks of his colleagues into positions of responsibility. A couple of years later I left that company and continued my career elsewhere. Hugh stayed with that company and started to achieve positions in management. As time went by he switched to the guards division and became extremely successful.

Of course, with success comes hardships. For Hugh it was in his marriage. As the years went by Hugh was getting a seriously big salary. When his marriage broke up his wife applied to the Australian legal system and did everything she could to get every cent possible from Hugh.

Hugh found it impossible to continue working for the security company even though he was getting a large salary, because he was having to pay for his wife's house and expenses, 100% of his two daughters upkeep, as well is trying to pay the rent for a place he was living in and to feed himself. Hugh never complained about having to contribute to his daughters upkeep. After all, he loved them dearly and wanted to see them grow up properly and successfully. What he did have a problem with however is the same thing that many divorced men in Australia have a problem with, and that is that sometimes the ex-wives become unreasonable and try to get the ex-husband to pay 100% of the outgoings of the household that they have left rather than 50% of the costs of bringing up children.

Hugh soon found that he couldn't afford to pay his own rent and buy food after he had paid his ex-wives mortgage and all costs for his ex-wife and the children. His situation was becoming desperate.

Hugh's solution to his problem was to quit his very responsible and high-paying job and start a lawn mowing service. He went straight from being a high-powered and highly intelligent corporate executive to a home handyman. We'll also happened was that he ceased having his salary paid by a corporation that kept taxation records in their computer system and went to a system where he was the owner/operator of his own business and, since most jobs were paid for in cash, declared only as much money as he needed to to satisfy his ex-wife's needs. He then was able to keep the rest of the money for himself and eke out a meager lifestyle. His ex-wife's lifestyle also suffered dramatically as she was not unable to garnishee his salary from the large security company. In the end, she got far less than she would have gotten if she had been reasonable at the start.

My observation is that it's really sad when a marriage gets to this situation and the person has to trash their career to save being savaged by next partner.

Hugh, if you are out there somewhere reading this, I tip my hat to you.

The Black Emptiness

When I was 20 years old my parents took my three sisters and my brother on a holiday to England. I went to Melbourne airport to see them off and remember waving goodbye to them as they left.

They never told me why they never took me with them. I never asked as it was too painful.

When they did that they gave me something. They gave me a " black emptiness" that I carry around with me to this day. Sometimes that black emptiness is very heavy.

Some well-meaning people have suggested to me various reasons are excuses as to why my parents did what they did. In the end though, they went away and took my family and left me behind standing there are alone as they disappeared in the plane.

If any parents are out there reading this, please learn through my experience. Please never do this to your children. It will just sit with them forever and eat away at them.

A Secret Revealed....

Greetings truth seekers,

Those people who know me reasonably well know that I started off my working life as a construction site bricklayers labourer and a while later realised that I had a skill for something in a different profession that I then followed.

This particular profession has held me in good stead for the past 30 years or so and has provided me with a very reasonable livelihood and lifestyle. After all, who would have thought that I would have spent the last two years basically on holiday here in Hong Kong.

Anyway, I believe that although I seem to live a complex lifestyle that seems to be terribly busy, especially when I'm in Melbourne, I am actually just a very simple person who is also a very deep thinker.

As I was growing up in the Australian working culture, I learnt that certain things were off-limits to construction site workers and macho Australian males. For example, there was an unwritten rule that nobody was allowed to talk about opera, the ballet, art or similar things. Worse than that, it would have been a cardinal sin if anybody had actually owned up to going to one of these particular events or viewings.

As the years went on I found myself yearning to experience these cultural things in life. To that end, about eight years ago I visited my first art gallery (ever so secretly and quietly I must admit in case somebody saw me there....) and went to a country art gallery in the Victorian countryside.

Whilst I was there (and the only person there) the curator, whose name turned out to be Peter. asked me if I had a particular liking for any particular artist. I think he could tell from my embarrassed silence that I had absolutely no idea of art or artists at all. Peter offered to take me around the Castlemaine Art Gallery and give me a bit of a guided tour. He kept things reasonably simple and I remember him discussing a particular European artist who had come to Australia and painted Australian landscapes using European palates. The difference in the colour in the paintings was obvious. Australian landscapes painted like English countrysides.

Soon after I left the Castlemaine Art Gallery, I booked myself in for a guided tour of the National Art Gallery in Melbourne. Once again, a volunteer took us around and explained the old masters as well as some of the modern painters.

Since that time, I have been too many art galleries both in Australia and overseas and thoroughly loved the experience. One of the last art galleries that I visited was the Chicago Art Gallery in America.

Similar to my love of art, I always held a hidden ambition to experience ballet and opera. Of course, as an Australian guy, I could never admit to liking these things and so I never went. A little over two years ago a good friend of mine who is a ballet lover suggested that I come along and experience a contemporary ballet at the State Theatre in Melbourne.

On that particular night, I went along with her and we saw La Boheme. I had no idea what to expect so you can imagine my surprise when the curtain went up to find the audience looking into what appeared to be an 1800's Paris loft with two guys in it, a writer and the painter.

You can probably understand my further surprise when all of a sudden these two guys grasped hands with each other and started prancing around the stage. I nearly burst out in laughter when they danced up to the front of the stage and both this is a kick in their tights and lifted a leg high into the air in a movement that I have effectually come to call "the hello boys".

Anyway, as the ballet progressed I settled down and started to watch the various movements and understand the story. By the time that particular ballet was finished I was hooked. I wanted to see more ballet.

Not long after that, I went to another performance of State Theatre but this time by a Chinese ballet troupe who put on the performance of " Tales of the Silk Road". 120 Chinese dancers onstage sometimes 90 at the time and they put on a magnificent performance.

Since then, I have seen various ballets including a medley combination done by the Hong Kong Ballet Company, the Hong Kong Ballet companies rendition of Suzie Wong (I saw it twice last year), and the Australian Ballet companies Raymonda at the Sydney Opera House last Christmas.

Last night I went to the Hong Kong Cultural Centre to see a performance of The Nutcracker. I had been a little bit reluctant to see a more formal style of ballet, but last week I went to see my doctor from small medical complaint. I learned last year that this particular doctor "Doctor D" is a ballet devotee and attends every performance of the Hong Kong Ballet company at least twice every performance. He suggested that I do myself in favour and book some tickets and get along and see this performance.

I must admit that I thoroughly enjoyed the performance. I ran into Dr D whilst I was there and he commented on how pleased he was to see me come along and inquired as to whether I was enjoying the ballet. I just told him that I was having an absolutely wonderful time.

As it turned out, tonight I ran into the conductor of the orchestra from last nights The Nutcracker in Starbucks in Tsim Sha Tsui. He is an Australian who lives in New York. We had a bit of a conversation about the ballet and the musical score and I joked about my past reluctance as an Australian male to experience these things. He agreed that many guys all over the world think it's uncool to experience these things.

Soon I intend to go and see an opera and include that in my life. I'm not sure what to expect but, if it's anything like the jewellery I have gotten from experiencing art and ballet then it will be well worth the effort on my part.

To any guys out there who might be macho men, tough Australian males, or just Aussies who think the guys who are only supposed to go to the football and drink beer, all I want to suggest to you is don't shortchange yourself. Get out there and experience these things and form your own opinion. If you like them then fantastic. The experience than and decide that you don't like them at least you'll have a basis to your decision rather than contempt prior to investigation.

That's all for now folks. As always, don't forget to wipe...............

Observations on Life - Beauty on the MTR

Tonight I was on the Hong Kong mass transit rail system (MTR) going from Central Station to Sai Wan Ho Chi to have dinner with some people I was being introduced to.

While on the MTR I was sitting opposite a Chinese lady who appeared to be in her 40s, permed hair, very round face, wearing a tracksuit that, although big, seemed to be doing its fair share of stretching.

At one point the Lady opened her handbag and took out one of those little compact mirror arrangements and proceeded to hold it in front of her face while she proceeded to preen herself and make herself beautiful.

As I sat there watching, two words came into my head. Give up.

Observations on Life - Mr X.

Yesterday, I was sitting at home reading a recently acquired book named " How to fossilise your hamster" when a friend called me. I met this guy about three months ago and we have become friendly. For the sake of anonymity, I will refer to this guy in this article as Mr X.

Mr X. lives here in Hong Kong and is a friendly type of person. He runs a business that employs around a dozen people and has some major accounts in the profession he is in.

In recent times, Mr X. has asked me to meet him for coffee from time to time, or he has called me on the telephone to ask me to provide him with business advice when he is having difficulty making a decision or just wants to bounce an idea of somebody.

Now, I wouldn't call myself any business expert or guru. All I would say is that I have learnt how to run my business the way that suits that business and the things that we do have worked well for us so far. Having said that, I wouldn't guarantee that it would be successful for any other business, it is just successful for our business.

Mr X. has put various scenarios and business problems to me and I listen to him, try to help him clarify his thinking all his decision-making processes and, if asked, I would offer a suggestion as to what I would do if put in a similar circumstance.

The trouble with all this however is that I have noticed that Mr X. rarely stops to listen to anything that I say. What I have noticed is that when I start to speak, Mr X. just cuts me off and talks over the top of me loudly so that he can get his opinion heard, or he can push his new idea on to me. Recently, I have become quite tired of this behaviour.

Last Friday, Mr X. invited me to coffee because he wanted to talk to me about a particular business issue that he was having. In short, he told me that he was leaving the company that he had been with for only a short time and he wanted to know whether I thought that was okay for him to quietly and dishonestly poach some blue-chip clients from his current company to his new company. His justification for this was that he had put in a lot of hard work to secure the business from this client and that he wanted to enjoy the benefit in his new company.

I advised Mr X. that I thought that his proposal was quite unethical and dishonest. I suggested to him that it had been his job in his current company to secure the client for his current company and that he could leave the company on good terms and having acted ethically at every turn. Mr X. wasn't happy with this but, following a phone call that he had in the middle of our conversation with somebody else about the same topic, and receiving the same advice from that other person he capitulated and agreed that he would not try to poach the client.

Yesterday Mr X. called me in the morning. I wasn't that upset about having to take a break from my book, but I did start to get slightly irritated when Mr X. said that he wanted to bounce a business idea off of me and then started to cut me off, disagree with me, justify his unethical and dishonest behaviour, tell me that he was better informed at this particular topic than I, and then went on to suggest that perhaps I didn't know what I was talking about.

That was all fine with me, because, who says I'm right? After all, I am only just the guy having a go and I don't know everything about everything. All I know is that I've been living here in Hong Kong in a luxury apartment for the past two years whilst on holidays because my business in Melbourne is doing well.

Being a big believer in giving away the behaviour that I want back, I thought that I might try this theory in reverse. So, when Mr X. would talk I started to cut him off and talk over the top of him and push my point of view.

Mr X. didn't like this type of treatment at all and tried to butt into the conversation go wasn't having any of that, I just kept talking and talking. I challenged Mr X. about his dishonesty, his lack of ethics, the reason as to why he needed a pat on the back just to doing the job that he was employed to do and generally told him to be quiet what I had my turn at talking.

Mr X. didn't like this at all and the line went dead, I suspect so that Mr X. could go off and ring someone else are who might listen to him and agree with his point of view.

For me, it has been a very valuable lesson in not wasting my time trying to help people who do not want to have an equal discussion or listen to the other person and who only want someone who agrees with their own point of view.

So Mr X., I wish you well, but please, do not call me anytime soon as I'm busy learning how to fossilise my hamster.

Until next time, this is Tales of Asia saying " don't forget to wipe".